Overcoming the Shadow’s Limitations, with Kavita Melwani
Join host Tessa Lynne Alburn and Guest, Kavita Melwani as she shares about following her soul's calling. Kavita’s turning point came when she attended her cousin's funeral and realized that she wasn't living her life in alignment with her true desires. She began seeking support and guidance, taking small steps towards her passions and interests. Kavita emphasizes the importance of inner work and reflection, as well as seeking support from mentors and coaches. She also discusses the shadow challenges she faced in reconciling her role as a mother with her own personal and professional aspirations.
Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to reignite your Soul Fire, get your free E-Guide here and Say YES to Your Soul! http://www.tessafreegift.com/
Check it out!
Journey kickstart: A cousin’s funeral
Navigating Societal Expectations and breaking away from traditional cultural norms and societal expectations to pursue one’s own path
The Balancing of Responsibilities with the needs of your Self
When one’s shadow is in control your options are limited
Pay attention to feelings of unhappiness or discontent, and be ready to receive support, especially during times of an isolative society
About Kavita Melwani
Kavita is a Spiritual Success and Business Coach, a highly-sensitive woman, and an empath. She is also a mother to two beautiful teenage boys. Kavita is a first-generation American and a serial entrepreneur who has owned and operated a variety of businesses since 2003. Kavita is a Master Jungian Coach with various certifications. She is on a mission to guide other Empathic, Spiritual entrepreneurs to run purposeful, profitable businesses aligned with their soul.
Kavita’s Free Gifts
Connect with Kavita and receive her Free Gift, an Abundance Visualization to ignite abundance in your life.
Website: https://alignedandsoulful.com/
* About the Host *
Tessa Lynne Alburn believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.
Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to be freer, happier and more courageous in life, get your free Soulful E-Guide here and Say YES to Your Soul!
As a Feminine Energy Coach and Soul Connection Mentor for women, Tessa supports you in having the freedom you crave and strong connections with others, as you live powerfully with joy and a sense of adventure.
Check Us Out on:
Thank You for Listening!
Thank you kindly for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and feel others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons found on this page.
We’d also love to know if you have any questions for the podcast! Submit your podcast questions or ideas to: https://www.sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com/contact.
Subscribe to the podcast
If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. You can also subscribe from the podcast app on your mobile device. Otherwise, visit us on the https://sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com at any time.
Leave us an Apple Podcasts review
Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.
If you’re a Spotify fan, then Spotify now has a star-rating feature!
May You Say YES to Your Soul.
Transcript
Tessa (00:04):
All right. Hello there. Lovely. I have a really
sophisticated sweet woman here for you to meet today. Her name is Kavita
Melwani, and she is a spiritual success and business coach, highly sensitive
woman and an empath, and I know a lot of you can relate to those things. She is
also a mother to two beautiful teenage boys. Kavita is a first generation
American and a serial entrepreneur who's owned and operated a variety of
businesses since 2003. She is a master Jungian coach with various
certifications, and she's on a mission to guide other empathic spiritual
entrepreneurs to run purposeful, profitable businesses aligned with their soul.
I love that. Kavita, I wanna give you a warm welcome to say yes to your soul.
Kavita (01:39):
Yes. Thank you so much for having me here today. I'm
excited to have this conversation with you.
Tessa (01:46):
I know, and you know, these conversations, it can be so
interesting. I know when I was doing podcasting before, and a lot of podcasts
I've listened to, they can be pretty prescribed, right?
Kavita (01:58):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>
Tessa (01:59):
We're not doing that here. This really is a conversation.
So I'm gonna invite you to go ahead and you and I talked a little bit about
like one of the shares that you have for my listeners today. So I'm gonna just
invite you to go ahead and begin with that. And we're gonna just take it from
wherever spirit guides us.
Kavita (02:21):
Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah. So, I really would like to
tell the story of what got me started on this path, right? And so it was 2011
Valentine's Day, and I had to go from where I was living at the time. I was
living in Dallas to Laredo, Texas, where I was attending my first cousin's
funeral. And he, you know, he, well, he knew that he didn't have that much time
because he was diagnosed with an osteosarcoma when he was 18, and he was almost
31 at the time of his funeral. And so I remember going there and seeing so many
people, over 400 people showed up at his funeral that I did not know who they
were. And so, since he was diagnosed, I found out that he had been doing all
these things. And I sat there thinking about my funeral and wondering, you
know, is this the way I'm living my life right now?
Kavita (03:31):
The way that I'm spending my time right now, is that how I
want to be remembered? You know, when I get to this point in my life? And I
mean, I had a really strong answer that came immediately, and it was no, I knew
that something had to be different. I didn't know at the time what it was,
because if anybody looked at me externally that they thought that I had
everything. You know, I had been married, I had two kids. I had a house. I had
enough money for what I needed and more. And I had at that time, one of my
businesses, and it was, there was just something that I knew that had to change
and I didn't. And so that point sitting there, I still remember, I can picture
it in my mind as we're, as I'm telling you the story right now, I even remember
like how I was dressed. And, you know, that time was so vivid, and I'm sure a
lot of us have those times where, you know, those turning points in our life,
those kind of guiding situations, right? That we make a choice. Those choice
points. That was the big choice point for me that started me on this spiritual
journey.
Tessa (04:49):
So there you were, you had gone to celebrate the loss of
this person who really, you know, this relative who meant something to you, and
he was so young.
Kavita (04:59):
Mm-hmm.
Tessa (04:59):
And you said you knew that there was a new, something more
that you needed to do or to be, what did that feel like in that moment?
Kavita (05:12):
Well, I had been feeling this before that moment, just
this kind of, I mean, you could describe it as a depression, right? And I
didn't know why. And so in that moment, it was that, that depression, the
depressive feeling, right? Kind of, it was a little shift of like, it doesn't
have to be this way.
Tessa (05:37):
Hmm. Yeah. That's really important. So you've just kind of
been in this state, this depressive state, sort of just going along
Kavita (05:45):
mm-hmm. <affirmative>,
Tessa (05:46):
You know, one of my friends says, you know, your life
didn't suck.
Kavita (05:49):
Yes.
Tessa (05:49):
But, right? But you weren't vibrant. You were kind of in
the, uh, low energy zone. Mm-hmm.
Kavita (05:57):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Tessa (05:57):
And there was an immediate, uh, that moment, that aha
moment, like, oh, it doesn't have to be like this. That's really beautiful. And
so what was one of the first things that you remember? What I would call
leaning into what did you do next?
Kavita (06:17):
So, you know, came home and I started to, well, I mean, so
it was 2011. So yes, we had the internet, but it's nothing like it today.
Right. Things have accelerated dramatically. So I started to look up things. I
went on at that time, forums, right? To look for support, and went to buy to
the bookstore to look for books. I just started searching. I had to start
looking. And in that process, I went to a networking event for my business at
the time. And there was a coach there, she was a life coach, and she was having
a vision board workshop. And I had a, always wanted to do a vision board, so
that I just followed that. I followed it, and I felt like a little excitement
to attend the vision board workshop. And I went to the vision board workshop.
And that, you know, that was like step by step. It's like, what is that next
calling to me? The next calling was to go to the bookstore at that time, Barnes
and Noble, right. And go look and see. I would just walk around and see where I
was called. And, you know, I would just take a book off the shelf. And so,
Tessa (07:27):
Wait, wait a second. Yeah. So when you say, you know, you
would see when you were called as you're like, walking around, is, are those
kind of the thoughts you remember actually having at the time? Like, I'm just
gonna walk around and see what calls to me.
Kavita (07:39):
Yeah. It was more like, now I can say that looking back,
but it was like, I don't know what to do. Well, I just, you know what? I'm
really feeling excited. It was almost like where I wanted to go next,
excitement, what was like pulling and drawing me there. And I thought, well, I
just feel like going to the bookstore, something about it. I don't know why,
but I just wanna go there. And then I'd say, well, I don't know what I want, so
I'm just gonna walk around.
Tessa (08:03):
I love that.
Kavita (08:04):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Tessa (08:04):
So you were really tuning in to your feelings and the
feelings that you wanted to be having.
Kavita (08:12):
Yes.
Tessa (08:13):
And you were, you were noticing that you were feeling
excited, and then you just kept following that lead.
Kavita (08:20):
Yeah. And that had been denied for so long because I spent
most of my time taking care of other people. Right. So I was taking care of my
two boys. I was taking care of my husband, taking care of the household, making
sure they were happy, making sure their needs were being met and beyond just
their needs, right. Their wants. But then just kept pushing aside, you know,
just putting aside my needs and like little things, right? It happens so.. I'm
trying to think of the word, but it's not like, it's always so obvious, right?
A little thing, like, you give into one little thing and then another, and
another, and then another and another, and then you look back and you're like,
well, I don't even know what I like anymore.
Tessa (09:06):
Hmm. You know, I was just having a conversation with, not
long ago, with Tazima Parris, who I know you know her.
Kavita (09:15):
mm-hmm. <affirmative>,
Tessa (09:16):
And this came up it around the needs. And so I'd love to
highlight this again here, because I think it's an important piece that many
women don't recognize that they've become, whether intentionally or
unintentionally, they've become programmed to override their needs and to take
care of other people's needs.
Kavita (09:42):
Yes.
Tessa (09:43):
And then the other factor, and I think it's really neat
that you had a husband and you had two boys.
Kavita (09:51):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative> <laugh>. Yes.
Tessa (09:53):
And they're wired differently.
Kavita (09:56):
Yes.
Tessa (09:57):
And when they have a need, it's like, I need it. I need it
for sure. I need it now. It's urgent. It's unequivocal.
Kavita (10:06):
Yeah.
Tessa (10:07):
It right. Like, but women for some reason is like, no,
we're not supposed to say what our need is, or it's supposed to be mysterious,
or we're supposed to be quiet. Good girls.
Kavita (10:17):
Yeah.
Tessa (10:19):
Yes. What was your story around that?
Kavita (10:22):
Oh, well, my story has to do with my, you know, my
culture, my family of origin, like a lot of us are conditioned, right? Based on
that. And my parents are immigrants, so they you know, from India. And so there
was a lot of that kind of patriarchal, really culture where the needs of men
were always put before the needs of women. And it was actually based on who
made the money. And so it was like, well the man is making the money. And so if
he's doing that, then his needs are more important. And I didn't realize, of
course, at the time, right? Like now looking and reflecting and working on some
of that conditioning and doing the shadow work, and realizing, wow, that's
really belief that holds you back, right? This
idea that the person that makes the money their needs are important. And if
you, what does that mean? That means that the person that makes more money,
their needs are more important. Is that the determining factor of a person's
worth?
Tessa (11:35):
Hmm. This is huge. And you know, like
you said, you learn this in your Indian culture, but it's mm-hmm.
<affirmative>, it's in so many cultures.
Kavita (11:47):
Yes. Yes.
Tessa (11:49):
Because we've been living in a patriarchal universe for a
while now, you know, globally, I know very few people, very few women who were
raised in an area where they were the matriarchy wrote the rules.
Kavita (12:06):
Yes.
Tessa (12:06):
Right. And they were the people in power. And I think we
are coming into, you know, a rising up with feminine energy, certainly. And
there's a greater balance now. And we need that stuff for our planet and for
our sanity because enough is enough with some of what's been happening. We need
that balance and the nurturing side of things. I'm curious how, from there, you
were able to continue to listen to yourself and your excitement. 'cause it, it
seems like there would've been some pushback maybe from your family.
Kavita (12:42):
Oh, yeah. I wish I could say yes from then on. I just
continued to follow, you know, and no, no, I've rarely hear, I actually, I've
never heard maybe you have of that journey being, you know, straightforward,
<laugh>, <laugh>,
Tessa (13:01):
Not so much.
Kavita (13:02):
Yes. When you start asserting your needs, when you start
following, and anytime, let's just put it this way, we behave differently and
the people around us, are used to us doing things a certain way and behaving a
certain way, and then we do something different. It's uncomfortable for them,
so they will respond in some way. Right. And it may not be in a way that's
encouraging on your path. Right?
Tessa (13:27):
Exactly. It's often like out of fear.
Kavita (13:30):
Yes.
Tessa (13:30):
You know, their eyes will get big. Right. And they're
like, what? You did what?
Kavita (13:34):
Exactly.
Tessa (13:35):
How, how are you gonna do that? Yeah.
Kavita (13:37):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. That is so true. And it was
that, it's been that, it's not been straightforward. So I started that journey.
I was excited. I said, okay, I worked with the coach, and as I worked with that
coach she used N L P
Tessa (13:54):
mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Kavita (13:54):
And in that I was able to figure out, like, I've had
always had this need and desire to help others. And at that time, I thought,
well, and I've always been interested in psychology and spirituality and Carl
Jung and Dreams and Regression. So all of that, since I would read books about
all those things as a teenager. And then I pushed that aside. And so then she
was able to kind of reignite that for me. And so I applied to graduate school
to be a therapist, and I got in, I had to take the G R E again.
Kavita (14:31):
And even through that process, that was pushback. Right.
So I had my in-laws live nearby, and then we had my sister-in-law come to
visit. And while I was studying for the G R E, and I told, you know, my
husband, I was like, I need to study in between taking care of the kids and
doing this. I need to study for, I haven't done a test like this in so many
years. Right. But they would come, he's like, well, I can't tell my parents
that you're doing this because they didn't want me to work.
Tessa (14:58):
Oh my goodness.
Kavita (14:59):
Yeah. They were fine with my business as long as I did it
during the hours of when the kids were in school. Right.
Tessa (15:06):
So it was like a secret.
Kavita (15:07):
Yeah. It was like a secret, because he didn't wanna tell
them that I was gonna do that. And I look back and I was like, wow, I should
have fought harder, <laugh>. You know, but I just lucked it. And so I, in
between, I'm like studying for the G R E, and then I actually had to end up
having foot surgery. I had an issue with my foot. I had foot surgery, and I
have this boot and I'm studying for D R G R E and all these things kept
happening Right. To kind of, that I created, now I know that I've created this
because I was scared. Right?
Tessa (15:37):
Yeah. Right.
Kavita (15:39):
That would stop me from moving forward. Okay. And so I
just want, you know, as people are listening, just because those roadblocks
happen doesn't mean that you're on the wrong path. It's not like, you know, I
hear that all the time. Oh, no. It's like, it doesn't mean you keep pushing
either, but really it's time to reflect and say, well, is this fear creating
this? Now I look back, I'm like, of course I was scared. My in-laws didn't even
wanna know that I was going to go to go to graduate school. So of course I was
scared. Right?
Tessa (16:08):
Yes. You didn't wanna be rejected or emotionally abandoned
or criticized.
Kavita (16:14):
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, none of us wanna be kicked out of the
tribe. Right. Not want that. It's not safe.
Tessa (16:21):
No. And not only that we could get so, you know, theoretically
kicked out of the tribe in some way, and then shame added to it.
Kavita (16:30):
Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. That's right.
Tessa (16:33):
So there you were keeping a secret.
Kavita (16:36):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, <laugh>
Tessa (16:37):
Having to negotiate with your own husband and you're still
together, right?
Kavita (16:43):
Yes. We we're still together. You know, we did through
this process, I will say we've done about five years of marriage counseling.
Tessa (16:52):
Mm.
Kavita (16:53):
Okay. Because I basically said that I need this to be a
partnership in this relationship.
Tessa (17:02):
So you Okay. Okay. Yeah. You totally changed the terms of
the original agreement with him.
Kavita (17:08):
I did, yes. <laugh>, I did.
Tessa (17:12):
Woo-hoo. Way to go, girl. <laugh>.
Kavita (17:14):
Yeah. You know, I got married very young, my family that
was the goal of a woman is to get married well, young and well <laugh>,
you know, to marry well. And I did everything they said. I followed the rules.
Okay.
Tessa (17:28):
Yes.
Kavita (17:28):
And, but I was 24 when I got married, you know, and now we
know that our brain isn't really fully developed. Our frontal lobe is not fully
developed at 24. So it's like, it's this sense of who I was then and who I was,
you know, 10, 12 years ago, really not the same person anymore.
Tessa (17:49):
Hmm. Yes. You are still developing, coming into your own
choices, your own personal power.
Kavita (18:01):
Yes.
Tessa (18:01):
And you were in a culture that is really steeped in that
patriarchal energy
Kavita (18:09):
mm-hmm. <affirmative>
Tessa (18:10):
And all the rules that come along with that. So how did
you keep listening to your, you know, what I would call your soul messages?
Kavita (18:22):
Yeah. So I would get off track and there would be points
where I would say, you know what? I should just get a regular job, or I should
just, you know, do this. And I would do it for a little bit. It just was so,
let me say, it was more uncomfortable to stay there than it was to follow what
I really wanted.
Tessa (18:49):
Hmm.
Kavita (18:50):
So it has, it had to get to that point where the
discomfort was more to stay the same, to continue down that path. So there was
points where I would, you know, take a traditional job for a bit and then not
like it very much <laugh> have to stop and, you know, so I started
graduate school, and then we moved to from Texas to the Bay Area. And so I
didn't get to finish. And so that threw me off again.
Tessa (19:16):
Oh my. Yes.
Kavita (19:18):
Yeah. So I came to the Bay Area, and then I didn't know
what to do. So I thought at that point I was like, oh, I guess that's kind of
the universe telling me that I shouldn't be doing graduate school.
Tessa (19:31):
Oh, this is, and this is the mistake that so many women
make.
Kavita (19:34):
Yes. Yes. So I thought, oh, I'm not supposed to do that.
So I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get a job because, well, what I
did know about myself is that I'm not stay-at-home mom material. Right. So I
did know that <laugh>,
Tessa (19:50):
Thankfully you had that clarity.
Kavita (19:52):
Yes. So I knew I needed to have an identity outside of
being a mother and a wife. I just didn't know what that was going to be. The
challenges I had were about this idea that I could do that as long as it didn't
impact anyone in the house. Yeah. And which is what a
Tessa (20:11):
Big pressure that must have been
Kavita (20:12):
Impossible, right? Yes. So much pressure. And it, you
know, and some of it was the conditioning from culture, but also my own
experiences growing up, because even though it was a patriarchal household, my
parents came immigrated and both of them were in business together. And they
still are in business, have multiple businesses together. And so my mother was
very much a part of the business, and she was actually always working. Right.
And so there was also that part. Right. So I also have that layer of conditioning
of like, I don't wanna that to my kids. Also, I wanna be present. So I had the
mother guilt, and then I had the conditioning culture. So it's not really a
recipe for me to create a supportive environment for myself.
Tessa (21:02):
Yes. But you were really breaking ancestral karmas.
Kavita (21:09):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yes.
Tessa (21:11):
You were putting some things to rest that needed to
change.
Kavita (21:14):
That needed to change. And throughout the whole time, I
would seek support. And I can't even name all the people that have helped me.
There's so many people. I, you know, I, I met someone that did Body Talk, so I
did some body talk sessions, and then through that person you know, I met
another coach. And so like every step of the way, when I was ready and open to
receive support, the person would arrive. I just had to then take the step.
Tessa (21:49):
Beautiful. So how did you get to, if you could somehow synthesize
this?How do you think you got to that place of ready and open?
Kavita (22:00):
Each time the pain? Like, I was kind of trying to explain,
it's kind of hard to explain, but, you know, that point, if I go back to the
original turning point of that, there's a like kind of that it's almost like
someone shook me awake. It's like, look at the path you're going down. Is this
where you wanna go?
Tessa (22:22):
Yeah. Was it the, like, the spirit of your cousin going
<laugh>?
Kavita (22:25):
Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think it was that his spirit, I
think it was that, you know, my higher self somehow showing me something. And
it would be so interesting. Sometimes it would be something someone said, or it
would be a movie. Right. Or a song. Like, it's just when you're in that kind of
paying attention mode or ready. It just, if you pay, if you're like, I wasn't
ready to pay attention, but I was not feeling happy again. Right. I was not
feeling content. I knew there was something wrong.
Tessa (23:02):
Yes. And you didn't wanna go back to that.
Kavita (23:04):
And I didn't wanna go back to that. So I was like, I don't
know what it is, and then something would happen and pay attention. I'm like,
and then I would question it. Sure. Sometimes question it. Sometimes say, is
that really true? Right. Is that what I heard <laugh>? And then, you
know, when I asked for a confirmation, I would get it.
Tessa (23:25):
Oh, I love that.
Kavita (23:26):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,
Tessa (23:26):
Tell us what that would feel like or sound like inside
yourself.
Kavita (23:31):
So inside myself, I would ask, okay, if this is the right
path for me, show me, gimme a sign that this is the right path. Right. And
sometimes I'd say, you know, show me something specific, because I had learned,
I'd listened to a training and they said, you need to ask for something
specific, like a bird or a butterfly or something, right?
Tessa (23:51):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Kavita (23:51):
So I would try that sometimes, or sometimes I would just
say, I'm gonna be open to the messages I receive in the next week. Right. And I
would say, just make it clear so I can hear it, you know, that I'm listening
and so I would try
Tessa (24:05):
Yes. 'cause you know, it's sort of like, because sometimes
hawks just fly in the sky. Yes. Doesn't mean Right, exactly. That they're a
message for us, so we have to pay attention. Mm-hmm. And we have to keep
asking. So you were really reflecting a lot.
Kavita (24:19):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative> reflecting, you know, I kept
taking courses, not just certifications, but courses that where I would receive
support, you know, smaller courses on journaling. So, you know, it's just part
of that, whatever was fun to me and exciting, just like I went into that vision
board workshop because it was something I was interested in.
Tessa (24:39):
Mm-hmm.
Kavita (24:41):
That's what I would do. And then I'd practice their
journaling or listen to someone's training because I felt like something about
them makes me feel safe. Right. Who, you know, things like that. Just
following, just going one step at a time.
Tessa (25:01):
So that's just a really beautiful way that you were able
to navigate things. You had, what I'm hearing is you had a pretty strong sense,
like you really knew when you were excited or interested in something, and then
you knew enough to get out of your way and keep saying yes to it.
Kavita (25:21):
mm-hmm. <affirmative>
Tessa (25:21):
And also getting the support and the guidance that you
needed along the way.
Kavita (25:27):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah, for sure. The mentors
that I've had working with coaches, working, you know, working with the Body
Talk practitioner, all of that. All of those things, right?
Tessa (25:40):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,
Kavita (25:40):
It's the support. I don't think we're meant to do this
ourselves.
Tessa (25:45):
<laugh>. Totally. We are so not meant to do this by
ourselves. You know, I sort of think of like, how many people in the world have
ever become a monk?
Kavita (25:59):
<laugh>.
Yeah. <laugh>.
Tessa (26:00):
It's a really, really tiny percentage, and there's a
reason for it.
Kavita (26:03):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Tessa (26:04):
And if they became a monk, they're still with a bunch of
other monks, most of 'em.
Kavita (26:07):
Right. They're in a community. That's true.
Tessa (26:08):
They're in a community of monks. Yes. Or nuns or whatever,
whatever you wanna call it, you know, sisterhoods. But almost no one is
designed to go live on the top of the so-called mountain somewhere and have a
fulfilled life.
Kavita (26:25):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Tessa (26:26):
It's just not what we're here to do.
Kavita (26:30):
It's so true. And I think that the isolation has become
worse now after everything that's happened with the pandemic. And there's, so I
just, I've been hearing so many people feeling lonely. You know, and even if
they're surrounded by people, it's like that sense of loneliness even when
you're with the people.
Tessa (26:52):
Ah, so there's like a disconnect.
Kavita (26:54):
Disconnect, yeah.
Tessa (26:56):
With people even so you can be in the same space, but feel
emotionally disconnected or isolated or like one doesn't belong.
Kavita (27:05):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yes.
Tessa (27:07):
Yeah. And I think you're right. I mean the stuff that went
on in 2020 and 2021, that just amplified a lot of things that were probably
already happening for people. I think there are very few people who actually
experienced like, isolation for the first time ever. But, you're right. It
amplified it, it set the stage for us not being able to get what we actually
needed.
Kavita (27:37):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>
Tessa (27:39):
Just connection. Right. We need to know we're seen and
heard and touched.
Kavita (27:45):
Yeah.
Tessa (27:46):
Yeah. And that we matter.
Kavita (27:48):
And even, you know, having little things like not being
able to get the groceries that you want, you know, <laugh> Yeah. Like,
things like that.
Tessa (27:56):
That could be really scary.
Kavita (27:58):
Yeah. It's like what's happening? Right?
Tessa (28:01):
Yeah. What's happening, you know, I'm making these choices
to have healthy foods and now I can't even get them. They're not on the
shelves. Now what?
Kavita (28:10):
Now what? Yeah.
Tessa (28:12):
Like, I don't know how to go out and use a bow and arrow
and find, you know, whatever I'm gonna find out there
Kavita (28:17):
<laugh>. Yeah. Neither do I. So <laugh>
Tessa (28:19):
And nor would I want to. Right?
Kavita (28:20):
Yes.
Tessa (28:21):
Like, I love the bunnies. <laugh>
Kavita (28:23):
Uhhuh, <affirmative>, uhhuh, <affirmative>
<laugh>.
Tessa (28:26):
And yeah, I mean, we were forced to face a lot of things
we never could have imagined we would face. And like, you know, of course one
of the funniest things is personal sanitation with the toilet paper flying up
the shelf.
Kavita (28:40):
Oh my gosh. Yeah. <laugh>, that will be forever. It
will in our minds. Yes.
Tessa (28:46):
It's pretty funny. But it is amazing that that was
something that people valued so much that they would went crazy with it and
stored just, you know, packages and packages upon packages of it for quite a
long time. I mean, it took a while for the reserves to come back. Right.
Kavita (29:08):
I wonder if there might be still some people doing that.
That's a side note. But <laugh>, there might be still some people.
Tessa (29:14):
I have no doubt we have all kinds of people living in this
world, and no doubt that that is happening somewhere. And it might be your Aunt
Susie who knows
Kavita (29:23):
<laugh>, Who knows. Exactly. Yeah.
Tessa (29:26):
Okay. So let's see, Kavita, clearly we could go off onto a
lot of different angles here, really looking at the shadow of people and all
these things. And you're skilled, you know, you have that Jungian coaching
background where you help people bring the shadow to the forefront. But what
was one of those biggest turning points for you around your own shadow work?
Kavita (30:15):
Hmm. Okay. Yeah. So one of them was this, what I was
starting to share about the realization that I had conditioning culturally
about what was okay as a woman and as a mother. And then in addition, my own
decisions and conditioning about, because my mother wasn't as present and she
was busy, and I know she was just trying to make it right and felt like it was
important for her. It was more important for her to be at the businesses than
it be at home.
Tessa (30:49):
Yeah.
Kavita (30:49):
And so this idea that I had made the decision that my
business was not gonna be the priority and almost made the decision that not
almost did make the decision without realizing, and this came through with,
this is one of the main kind of things that came through with the Jungian work,
was that I decided that I could only be somewhat successful because if I went
beyond a certain point, that would mean that I wouldn't be a good mother.
Tessa (31:24):
Mm. And that is probably never gonna happen. Right. If you
hadn't faced that shadow, you would not have been able to reconcile those two
things.
Kavita (31:34):
Right. And that's so true. And I would not understand what
would happen? You know, something would always happen with the children that
they needed my attention.
Tessa (31:46):
Of course.
Kavita (31:47):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Tessa (31:48):
Yes. And just pulling you back. Right. Because that was
the one that you were really trained in and you knew, you know, your kids are
still young, you do have to take care of them until there are a certain ability
and age. Right. But without embracing the work of looking at the conflict, the
inherent conflict there, you would not have been able to become successful like
you are today.
Kavita (32:14):
That's right. Yes. It was so important to be able to see
what's underneath. Right. It wasn't, you know, there's so many people that
they're like, I just need to know the next strategy or, you know, that's
talking about more business stuff or that I need to learn something externally.
Tessa (32:36):
Okay. Yes. Or get that extra certification.
Kavita (32:38):
It's the extra certification. Exactly. And it's always the
inner stuff. It's always there first.
Tessa (32:46):
It is, isn't it?
Kavita (32:47):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Tessa (32:49):
All right. I, in a moment, I would love for you to share a
tip or some kind of guidance for my audience, but before that, I have one more
question for you.
Kavita (32:57):
Sure.
Tessa (32:58):
I wanna know, how does listening to your soul help you
today in your life?
Kavita (33:09):
It just my life feels, when I am listening to my soul
because I still get off track when I am on that path of listening to my soul.
Just everything is better. Everything just feels better, my relationships feel
better, my business feels better. My body feels better and everything.
Tessa (33:36):
Hmm. And you know that you are connecting to your soul
because you can feel it.
Kavita (33:43):
Yes.
Tessa (33:45):
Yeah. I really wanna thank you for this level of sharing
today. I really appreciate it. You're so deep. Girl. I like it.
Kavita (33:56):
Oh yeah, <laugh>. Thank you. I love this. I love
these. And we could, I could talk to you for hours.
Tessa (34:01):
<laugh>. Yay. Alright, well we've got kind of, you
know, we have a little framework here for our podcast.
Kavita (34:08):
Okay.
Tessa (34:08):
So we will now go to that tip or that guidance. Right. My
listeners are hanging out and they're like, well, I need that one thing. What's
that one thing gonna be? What would you say it is today, Kavita?
Kavita (34:23):
The thing is, when you are looking externally for
something that you think you need to change, start inside first. And you can do
that by, you know, one of the tools that I love is just free writing,
journaling, you know, one of the, you could do morning pages, which, you know,
the Julia Cameron's morning pages and all that is, is really waking up in the
morning and having a journal by your bed and actually just writing what's free
writing, what's coming to your mind? What are those thoughts?
Tessa (34:54):
Stream of consciousness.
Kavita (34:55):
Stream of consciousness. Exactly. Do that first before you
start making all the external changes.
Tessa (35:03):
Hmm. Nice. All right. Very, very simple. Just start free
writing stream of consciousness every morning.
Kavita (35:13):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Tessa (35:14):
I love that. Thank you. And so how can people get a hold
of you? How can they connect with you, Kavita?
Kavita (35:22):
Yeah. The easiest way is to go to my website
alignedandsoulful.com. And I have a, a gift. Do you want me to talk about that?
Tessa (35:34):
I would love for you to talk about that.
Kavita (35:36):
Okay, great. So I have a free gift. It's an ignite your
abundance, visualization and exercise. And it goes beyond just money, because
abundance is abundance in all ways. And so, you know, a lot of people have this
one part of their life that tends to be the challenge. And maybe right now it's
one thing, and then in a few years, it's another thing. But to me, the
abundance is more than everything in all ways. So if there's an area, when you
do the visualization, you can focus on the one that's for you. Maybe it's
relationships or maybe you're feeling like some loneliness and disconnection,
and you want to feel reconnection. So you can do the visualization with the
idea of the area that you feel could use more abundance in your life.
Tessa (36:29):
Hmm. Awesome. So you can personalize it.
Kavita (36:33):
Yes.
Tessa (36:34):
And bring abundance into the area of your life that you
wanted.
Kavita (36:38):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative> Yes.
Tessa (36:39):
Where you want it. Fantastic. And that's, do they just go
to align and soulful and you'll see it there?
Kavita (36:46):
Yes. Yes. And then yeah, it'll be there. And I can, I'll
send you the link as well. Yeah.
Tessa (36:51):
I think you already did, which is perfect. And we will put
that in the show notes, but just, just for people listening.
Kavita (36:57):
Yeah, yeah. Yes.
Tessa (36:58):
You can find all of that aligned and soulful. And then is
there anything else you wanna add?
Kavita (37:05):
No, just wanna thank you so much for this conversation and
for the opportunity to hopefully inspire someone to say yes to their soul,
right?
Tessa (37:15):
That's right. Yes. And I am pretty sure you've done that
today. I really, really wanna give you a warm appreciation, a big thank you and
gratitude. I see the spirit in you, Kavita, and I'm so happy you and your
spirit were here with us on Say Yes to your soul. Bye-bye for now, everybody.